I am kinda proud of myself tonight. I went to the Avalon, and imbibed a bunch of Franziskaners. I looked over to my right, and saw a really good looking blonde. For some reason, she moved from one side of the bar and sat right next to me. Now, I knew this was some kind of test, and I refrained from talking to her. I knew it wasn't a coincidence that she decided to move right next to me after I looked at her, but I am not an idiot anymore.
I am kinda proud of myself that I made no attempt to talk to her. I think I have finally learned my lesson. Doing so would have not been in my best interest, and after all my years of falling into that trap and getting a kick straight to my balls, I have learned to not fall for it. I have finally learned to keep my dukes up. Every woman I run into nowadays is like Ox Baker.. and I have to make sure I don't take a heart punch. After A.C., I have finally had enough and will make damn sure I won't make the same mistake again. I have resigned to the fact that I will probably end up dying alone, and seriously, I am OK with that. At least it will be on my terms. Like, W.E.H, I am the master of my own fate and the captain of my own soul. It is probably the only thing in my life that I have control over and it is the only thing keeping me from checking myself into the looney bin.
But still, keeping my dukes up is not enough. I am still leaving myself wide open for a liver shot, and that is the most painful strike I can take and still remain living. But I am trying my best to keep that elbow in and trying to deflect it. And so far, I think I am doing a pretty good job.
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